To try to get on my 👨👩👧parents😤 👁prospective👀 on tonight’s events of my 💊drugs💉 getting confiscated😱, sooo…🕯 I pulled some cards for them. 📣 And they fit pretty well, if I do say so myself.
🥺🧐I’ll share my depictions of what I personally see out of the cards picture itself, as well as the worded interpretation will be broken down for myself.
Mom’s Card from my Sun and Moon Tarot.
Since she’s exhausted all my own lifestyles practices & beliefs of drugs aren’t so bad compared to my upbringing and what I learned but she is blind to that still. I forgive them all for not being there when I needed them and not teaching the right/good/lightened/correct ways to live my life.
🌥-Mountains in the background depict the lifetime of up & downs. The steepness of the mountains show how rough or smoothly things have went.
🌥-His red cape represents royality and shows that there’s power to be revealed, like a superhero. 📓✏~I feel that is consistent with it’s symbolism but it’s not information that I’ve ever received just breaking it down in my own representation.
⛈-Swords represent protection but these swords are on the offensive side and they seem threatening but then again they are holding her up.
Dad’s Card from my Sun and Moon Tarot.
Doubtful that he meditates any other way. He is proud of himself in many ways and brave and courageous enough to have a lion lead the way & fiery flamed tires to carry him where he wants to go or what he puts his heart, body, and soul into.
🤔💬🛸👂👀💥💣
Normally 🔥fire🔺️ represents passion, love💏, a powerful self but not in my dad’s case, I believe that it’s a warning that his temper is nearing the top of its canister and evil is driving him to be silently making motions throughout his day.
-Regardless if it’s his marriage, kids, projects, mental mindset, or thoughts of past mistakes -it’s haunting his present selfish self now… he maybe passionate towards his acting skills, he prefers to be like he is a normal human being but he is a bit of a oddball…withdrawn and hiding a lot of secrets within his life.
Mom claims he is a narcissist and has no feelings and wants for himself only. 💣She has unnecessarily shared intimate experiences with me about he has her 🙊silent and 🗽statue stiff during sexual relations… Made me think about it more and more & I seem to think he is mentally picturing raping someone, sneaking date rape drugs to have sleep/knocked out sexual relations or something totally off-kilter with that matter. Something more than fantasy are at bay. Especially with Mother sharing this with me -the whole thing isn’t bothering me now though, just using it to dig into his life figuring out who he truly is. The only thing that makes sense is that he is faking normal if he’s gotta concentrate one type of way during sexy time.
⚙HOW IT IS!⚠️
Money & Stability is their structure in the relationship. 💔No love, no understanding, no supportive backing🔪, no passion💞, no mutual 🙍♀️👨🔧talking 📣& 👂listening. 👂They are big fakers when it comes to respecting one another (both sides 💩hate🤬 on each other when 💫venting to 🤳people.👹) Nothing to build upon with one other. -They think they know each other but I don’t think they truly, deeply understand one another at all, their actions show conflicting promised words to the emotions/feelings they express. They have expectations of each other that aren’t addressed aloud and they are not living for the best of anything; for the goodness of the future, for any relationship -for building sake, for being true to one’s self and others. Conflicts between them throughout their days are misunderstandings and missed hints, attitudes, emotions within a conversation. Guilt trips amd tips by mommy dearest.
🤨😯GETTING🔎PERSONAL🤯🤥
💻The computer age rising in our separate generations has ruined a lot, I mean A WHOLE BUNCH OF THINGS ARE NOW-A-DAYS LOST. For example; human connections, relationships, self dedication to build yourself stronger and more efficient, not to mention teamwork isn’t unavailable because people suck at completing their own tasks or have unheard or mistaken words and that causes chaos in group settings, (groups normally have a star player that picks up the slackers slack) We are such a mess of unhealthy, saddened, angry, miserable, misunderstood people out here trying to just get through the days🌇 &🌃 nights without trouble. But no trouble means your movement forward is halted -in bettering themselves or helping the universe with betterment. 😍All we need is 💘love🥰, respect, and understanding... BUT 🤔all we get is distant, never 👂listened🔇 to, 💙cold-hearted🥶 selfish actions done, and get short answered replies💬 when you do reach up☝️ and 👆out. (if you get a reply that is), and wastefulness, negativity, hatred, and complaints are given from most people today. They rather hide behind 💬FaceBook🕳 with their self-pumping lies, 👀look👀 at me posts, 💘love💋 me for a 🕧second⏳, or 👏clap for me… Pat my back for the things I do/post!!! 💥 (But truly didn’t really do it… it is just a stretched out story to grab attention or a lie to look better than you truly are.)
“How are we going to find you if you get lost or kidnapped with all these filters on you?”
Let’s not fake it until we make it anymore… learn respect of people, places, and things and do the right things for the whole not just for you.
I don’t know what is worse… lying to others or lying to yourself. You’re making your reality/world more plasticky ‘n’ fake than you realize. Others perspective of you is based on words/promises kept or not and what actions are done… tricking the publics eye is not easy peasy thing to do, for some life is like a juggling act of sorts. Managing multitude of things you’ve lied about to people, situational issues that’s happened, and all the things that your saying is who you are -without the truthfulness of working on it. All of these balls being tossed in the air has you concentrated on handling them one or two at a time -you have to remembering gravity is going to have you on your tip-toes… or your fingertips. Your stance maybe strong & steady for a little while but even the best of jugglers take on too much or get too tired to continue their fiasco -time to realize you need untangled and to take the masks off. Someone’s ill-formed opinion of you is hard to carry out, the lies told to look a certain way or any past expressed explainations or excuses that you used to manipulate others actions/reactions toward you.
(Kind of like when somebody lies or exaggerates about, let’s say, back-pain or a headache to manipulate the doctors & nurses to get you pain medicine at the hospital -Now it’s on record and you have to keep up these unreal situations.) ~OR~ (in my experience I exaggerated my stomach pain once and it turned into a gallbladder surgery that was unnecessary… that’s a big secret I’ve held in and never told any living soul.
In my defense; I was raised by these busybodied plastic people/fakes/liars and was ignored unless I was sickly or in trouble. So I learned to lie and stretch out my medical issues. Told by mother to complain more to get what is wanted and I taught myself to act. I was pretending to be sicker than I was, most of the time. …BUT… Honestly, I am a sick person with an immune system that isn’t the best from birth and been in 3 major medical comas with heart failure, cardiomyopathy, and depressive with delusions (aka voices and hallucinations of touchs and “spirit people” or something. I am better than that now. My attention getting ways grown old and now I actually act how I feel. I deal with pain herbally now (not much tylenol or ibuprofen in my life) and try my best to stay away from the hospitals unless I truly feel like I am in need of medical attention. I wasted time in my lifetime and others’ as well.
My mothers Munchausen Syndrome by proxy is at its best. NO, NOT the one where she makes me sick by poisoning or what not, just the taught behavior of getting whatever is wanted from doctors and others by manipulation and lies. Also a big part is the attention seeking she gets off from me being sick. –she’ll post online my medical issues I am having for sympathy from her peers. Never asking for prayers to justify the post, no, just stating the worst of things. Nowadays she will post as if she is with me at the hospital but I go alone these days and I don’t post my issues on FaceBook -for they’re not my closer of friends or I don’t want the sorry’s and get wells like what floods in on moms page. Getting attention/sympathy/ leniency/truly being seen is in my younger eyes only shown when you’re ill or down ‘n’ out. That is what I thought but honestly even the sick are ignored in different ways…
NOW ON TO THE DOCTORS! Doctors are not researching or care to discover the main factors of a sickness or injury, not going any further than the initial simple diagnosis… that doesn’t really seem to fit into what’s going on completely. They short hand they’re results and findings to a patient and mislabel illnesses to be quicker at their workplace -rather than- getting behind, up & under the root cause of the conditions of the patients. Most medical staff don’t see us as people. -We are a room number, sheet of answered questions -lies and all, fact checking and the truthfulness of what’s really put in your body with test results, with their basic knowledge of diseases and the human body with the reactions of medications on the body make them certified to be Dictating Snobby Dicks -they have no feelings toward their patients or lacking emotional support for anyone… because people lie to and manipulate them!!! They’ve played guessing games with the people for the better part of their career and now are fact based with flattened characteristics when it comes down to it. ⭐Children’s doctors, like at Riley Children’s Hospital, have better connection to the patient but they are also grown tired of the over bearing adults that come with the patients. But still a big difference between the fields, that I see anyways. Doctors should have to switch programs up to work with children or the elderly every couple of years to make them more well-rounded for communication with patients.
“Was taught it then I caught it.“
Mother also taught me to help others and volunteer for things but she complains and groans about every step she has taken for someone else. From seeing the negative side of this, I strive to not be like that. I try to do things without expectations or wanting anything im return from the good deeds done. Mom is petty about things and I vowed to not be like that either, I will think things through and I will have to remind myself not to be that way.
“You are being Petty, Tom Petty, this isn’t the last dance!”
My 👨🌾adoptive 👨🔧father 👨🏭never personally, physically shown me affection💗 or taught 👨🏫me anything one-on-one or helped me study in school, or teach me proper use of the tools -in which I see him use all the time, and those tools he lets me borrow when I was feeling crafty about woodwork. I doubt I used any of them correctly especially the Dremel. I had wooddust flying in my face pretty much the whole time, strangely not in any other direction would it spray, I couldn’t figure it out… so, safety glasses were important to wear (because I scratched the fuck outta my glasses.) 🛠One of the sanding pieces of the 🧰dremel ⚙just suddenly got too hot or something and ripped apart and flew across the workshop ‘n’ landed a few feet away from where I was sitting. ⚠️ Scared me to death! I tried fixing it with a new lil’ sanding belt on the rubber piece that the previous one was on, that deemed unsuccessful and put away without asking and not putting it back to how it was orginally. If I would have asked dad he would have just done it, not showing me how to do it myself. -his patience is thin with teaching or he thinks tools are basic knowledge. So… I just watched him from a far & copied his organization skills when I had less items inside my room. Everything in his shop has a place… or two, three different places it’s likely to be! -in dad’s case multiples of the same tool in all places but different shapes and sizes are placed in the toolboxes that were poorly appointed to me for use was directed in a generalized area (and I’d still have to search more than one box) Places were provided by and remembered by him only. I am guessing by trail and error he remembered what box is what. I tried to remember the place where I got it from -one tool at a time helps. He didn’t seem to mind me in his work shop space but I was cautious with my time spent in his area. At first site you are confused with his order of things ‘n’ it looks like boxed up messes with tools and liquid glue solutions or cans of sprays everywhere, it’s organized chaos all compartmentalized in toolboxed and split up by there duties and the different jobs that could use those certain items. (Plumbing tools in one bag and woodwork items in another. The standard items with the mostly used items are found on the wall🧱 displayed for efficiency when looking for it. (Right there, out in the open, for the quickest find and grap.) Just lacking stated named tags for each tool hung, but its special spot was specifically created and designed for the tool it’s displaying. Like a 🧩puzzle🧩, they all fit accordingly.
Being Better Than Yesterday. 
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